hey y'all. its been quite awhile.
been quite busy with personal issues.
but here i am.
ever ready to get my fingers typing out a long entry.
as usual i want to summarise about what i've been up to this past week.
monday to friday is school.
i took mc on monday though.
but school is the same old shit.
and thursday was work.
so that's about it which is a norm for me.
however monday to friday night was another side of me.
i actually spend my whole weeknights meeting guys.
i met this guy named FI on monday night.
i met this guy named HR on tuesday night.
i met FI again on wednesday night.
i met this guy named ZL on thursday night
and also friday night.
i wasn't being a slut.
it was pure conversation only.
trust me.
even though i was prepared for other things that might happen.
but we were respecting each other as we only settled down for a drink
and a nice conversation.
i've come to realise that all 3 were nice guys.
they were charming in their own ways.
but that is only the first impression.
other than that i am not interested to know.
only if they were interested to get to know me then i shall explore them.
FI was this cute barista.
i really like the way he carry himself.
i like the songs he listens to.
and damn he's a good kisser.
okay we did kiss.
but that's it.
and he rides GILERA.
sampai aku yang gile kan motor die.
moving on to...
HR is kinda unexplainable.
but he's a guy who only meet for a drink and conversation.
more of a " i need someone to listen to me" kinda person.
but he was rather monotonous.
nothing much to say though about him.
and here's another guy.
ZL
very boy next door.
polite.
humble.
very positive about life.
which is a good thing.
cos i do need positive people to surround me.
yea. in other words - SIMPLE GUY.
no complications.
and that's pratically about my life for the week.
don't ask me to choose.
i really do not know what phase i'm going through.
its CRAZY LIFE.
On a rather serious note.
i have somethings to say to my beloved friends.
first of all i rather make this an anonymous write out.
let me begin with YOU.
for the past few days i've realised that i've been sharing with you about so many things with you.
i kinda feel that you are someone who listens and willing to voice out opinions and try to make me look at situations from all sight of angles. to understand how other people thinks. and to also realise that things can't always be the way you want it to be. you have to accept and adapt to their surroundings. and right now i'm trying to adapt. i am positive that i can adapt. but at times like you always say its best to just leave it hanging rather than knowing the actual fact.
And for YOU.
the sweetheart. the baby. the pampered. i love you so dearly. all these while i have adapt to how you behave and how you react towards things and how you respond to it. at times i do agree with you and at times i might disagree. well like they say everyone has their own say and beliefs. but its that's you and nothing can change that. well i would say that i've learn to get use to the way you want things to be. however i will never ever want to lose you. its maybe because that i've been with you for a few years now. i spend my everyday with you too. and i can't afford to lose a friend like you. you're the baby love. and i am happy that you are loving that person as he is. and just for you to know. you will always be the funny, the quirky, the different girl i've ever come across in my entire life.
and as for YOU.
i really don't feel the need to be bitching about you. its because of anger that you bitch about that person and that's my theory. i thought we're drifting apart and i do not want to see that coming between us. i have grown to be attached to you. i feel that all those significance and similarities that we share kinda brought us closer. you are like a brother to me. and not getting to see your face and you being so bloody busy makes us miss you. and yes i do miss you. i'm not shy to admit that. i was bitching that you can't spend time with us like you use too. but a reality check has been done on me and i am trying my very best to learn to let go and get use to the way you lead your life. but just so you know i am not saying anymore bad things about you. and i have confessed to you about what i've said and i hope its already settled on your part because as for me i've already consider it as over and done with. whatever it is i still do consider you as my brother. thanks bro.
and to only YOU.
there's an improvement of exchanging thoughts and conversation wise. from not seeing that person i use to be close with back then. i can somehow see you coming back and i'm happy to see that you. well sometimes i do miss those silly moments when we do those stupid things together. and always drinking like pratically 5 to 6 times in a week. i'm sure you remember that. but whatever it is now. i do pray and hope you are settled down with a carreer and at least you are stable to carry on daily life in a better environment.
and to YOU
at times i don't really get you. at times there seem to be a barrier and at times i would question myself should i believe you or shouldn't i? i keep asking that. but i shouldnt be asking that sort of question if there's no rumour saying it right? but i now know that i can have a conversation with you. however whatever you may say its totally up to an individual to believe it or not. if they don't then by all means. as much as i want to believe somehow there's a hindrance. and now i just prefer to leave it hanging. i don't wanna know so many things that will end up making me confused.
and finally YOU
i've known you for the past few years and know i would say that i'm very much closer to you. you now have shared your personal life with me. but at times i wish that you were stronger. i wish that you can move on wiser. but i just received a wake up call stating that you got to know that she's been with that guy for 4 years and as annoying and frustating that guy is to her you can't blame her for still crying back to his arms for comfort because of the long term relationship they have been sharing for the past years. all i want for you is to be happy and if you are happy with your current situation right now i shall share the joy with you because i dont want to influence you with the decisions that i've proposed to you because bottomline is you that determine your life. anyways i do love you kay sweets.
but before i end.
just a question to all of you.
if it were to really happen are you all seriously ready for it?
but i do hope its the last thing that would happen.
but for you bitches to know
i love you guys so much.
thanks for all the moments that we shared together.
i appreaciate it and its locked in my heart.
